It’s been a while –

The last post I made was about how I was jetting off to Japan.

I haven’t posted for over a year – life has changed a lot and for the better. It’s been hectic, insane and mesmerising and this is why I vanished. Do you want to hear some good news though?

I’m going back to Japan in 9 weeks, for 23 days, and this time I’m going as a student studying for a degree in photojournalism. I quit my job in September, and I went to uni. My first year of uni at 23 years old. It’s crazy and I love it, and to top off my awesome year, two months before I came to uni – I met a boy called Will and now I can’t imagine my life without him.

So, I had a great new year, and I’m about to continue having the best year of my life. I PROMISE that this time, I’ll keep updated, you’ll hear all about Japan and my travels and my studies.


Jetting off at 8am Saturday morning for Tokyo –

Final update before I go, I’m going to post when I get out there as I’m taking my laptop with me.

Updates will be posted mid afternoon UK time when I do post them.

ITS FINALLY HERE and I’m packing my case as we speak! I’m leaving for London tomorrow night and at 8am Saturday morning (UK time) I’ll be on my plane taking off for Haneda airport, Tokyo Japan. I cannot believe it, I can’t get over that I’m going. I’m actually going!
Stubio Ghibli tickets are booked, we are going to Disneyland, Fuji Q and the Fuji five lakes, Kamakura, Takeshita Dori, Akihabara… so much Japan and only two weeks to conquer it in!

There isn’t a lot I can say here, except wish me a safe journey and I’ll be back with you in a few days!
Let’s go Tokyo!

House move/life update

So a small boring post this morning.
I moved house three days ago, I moved in with two of my friends. Things are going really great although unpacking clothes genuinely makes me want to throw myself off a cliff. All in all though, I brought hardly anything with me.
I’ve been here three nights and I’ve lost 3 lbs already this week, no idea how but that makes 11lbs in the last month which is pretty good for me. I’ve noticed my arms getting a bit skinnier and I’m liking it.
I have’t had much time to do anything at the moment let alone think about writing, but I need to start penning my novel again soon.

BUT the most important thing is that my trip to Japan is only 43 days away from me now, I’ve saved £700 spending money so far for two weeks, I intend to bump it up to £1000 but if I can’t then I’m happy with just getting it to £800.

I’m quite tired, it’s 7.30am and I have a ten hour shift to go to. Insomnia isn’t being kind to me but I had 6 hours sleep last night which is better than the usual 3/4 I might get.

Anyway, Ciao for now.
I just thought I’d check in so that if anyone does read this, they know I still have a pulse.


I wrote a poem, the first poem I’ve written since High School.

I was inspired by a wonderful poet/spoken word artist named Hollie McNish, you should definitely look at her work if you’ve not heard of her. Her opinions, thoughts and the way she words them are magical. Type in her name on youtube.

The poem is called ‘Silence’ and I don’t know if I’ve finished it or not yet, but I wanted some opinions so I thought I’d turn to the internet with it. ‘Silence’ talks about three of the five senses and how we use them when we love someone, it’s mainly about love and how we can love silently. I haven’t generalised or named gender roles within the poem, because I hope that more people can relate to it that way. Read it slowly to understand it better. Please leave me your thoughts, and go easy, I’m not a poet x


You picture their face in your mind,
You can see them like they’re standing in front of your eyes.
You see the curve of their lips and the shape of their jaw,
You see their eyelashes, you can picture the exact colour they are.
You know their freckles, their birthmarks and you know their scars,
Creases at the corners of their eyes, old blemish marks.
Laughter lines that show when they smile or they blink,
The way that they furrow their brow when they think.

Their touch on you and your touch on them,
you know their skin like the back of your hands.
You know their hands like they were your own,
hands that hold you, guide you and stop you feeling alone.
You grip their hand firmly when you’re worried or afraid,
and they grip back in exactly the same way,
because hands learn how to talk.
Imagine lying next to this person and not feeling your heart race,
if it’s impossible to keep your heart and hands away from them,
then I rest my case.

When you hear their words linger in your head,
hours, days, months or years after they were said.
That’s beautiful isn’t it?
One person can say one thing when you’re together and it could stay with your forever.
Some words can be harsh and some words can be kind,
they can make you laugh and they can make you cry
but the best words make you laugh and cry at the same time.
Sometimes, the most beautiful moments need no words,
silence is enough.

What I’m really trying to say is that you can’t silence love.


A brief idea of what my trip to Japan may consist of.


I don’t want to plan to the letter, because I’m not there and I don’t know how it works over there. I don’t know how long it will take me to overcome the jet lag of a 13 hour flight and finally emerge out on to the streets of Kanagawa, I don’t know a thing about the Yen, I’m not good at directions anyway (although my friend keeps stressing to me that ‘Everything is written in English too so don’t panic’, I’m not 100% sure I believe him yet) and I’m panicking about getting on the trains, I don’t want people to see my tattoos and think I’m in the Yakuza – it’s all trivial, menial, panicky shit. I’m a worrier and I always have been, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t a clue what I’m going to do!

I have from March 2nd until March 15th to do as much as humanly possible, and I have to share this trip with… I guess a friend… who has different views and opinions and likes different things to me. We agree on manga and anime, we disagree on Disneyland (but we are fucking going to Disneyland), we disagree on meat, we agree on the Pokemon center – you get the idea?
If the ‘doing stuff together’ thing fails, I’ll just do my own thing and be the classic tourist who gets residents and locals to take pictures of me absolutely everywhere.

So on March 5th it will be my 23rd Birthday, I’ve decided I would like to spend my Birthday in Disneyland, everyone who appreciates Disney will envy me on this because how many people get to spend their Birthday in Disneyland though, really? So – 


It’s where dreams (and a lot of money) get made, obviously! With the prices being  ¥10,700 for a two day pass (£71.60) two days in Disney already cut 10% out of my budget and this is the reason why I’m getting a credit card. Once in a lifetime trip, if I want souvenirs, I’ve got to grit my teeth and either suck it up or buy it and know I’ll have a bill to pay when I get home.

I have this horrible feeling that I might be doing Disney alone, I really don’t think that my ex (Dan, I’ll call him that for future reference and it also sounds less rude) will want to meet Mickey mouse with me. It kinda sucks because I’ve been weighing up whether or not it’s worth going. I haven’t been to Disney since I was 7, it was the one in Paris and I can’t remember it at all, it’s a hefty slice out of the budget (my budget is £1000 or ¥171862.19 at the current rate) and I can do a lot of sightseeing/traditional things in two days with a lot less money. If you have any thoughts on this – PLEASE HELP. I’m in a Disney related pickle.

Yeah, this is definitely happening, it costs only ¥1000 (£6.69) to get in, and of course why would any anime fan go to Japan and miss the Ghibli Museum?! Totoro is there to welcome you at the door, and I’m sure the people here will appreciate my tattoo homage to Totoro and Spirited Away! Not only that, but they have a CAT BUS granted, it’s for the children, but still!

The Pokemon center is a must, I grew up wth Pokemon (not literally but don’t lie, if you are of my generation, you wished they were real) and I’ve watched a youtube video of all the different kind of merch they sell here and I don’t care what else I buy but the amount of character chopsticks they have is unreal. I need Pokemon chopsticks – enough said! Free entry, and prices are reasonable for most things as far as I can tell.

A day spent in the shadow of Mt Fuji, exploring it’s beautiful lakes, marvelling at the mountain towering over you and then seeing it from a rollercoaster – why wouldn’t you? Although, this advert makes it look really unappealing.

Okay, have any of you guys heard of the UK based chain store Blue Banana? I used to work for them, and basically, Harajuku’s Takeshita Dori is the Japanese Blue Banana STREET. It’s full of goth, lolita, kawaii fashion and it’s just worth going to Harajuku for a look. You can’t really go to Japan at my age, and not go to Harajuku!

Watch this video – enough said

So, that is an idea, there are a lot more place on my list, such as parks, and my friend who lives there wants to take me to see temples which is obviously a must. It’ll be great, but Ihave no idea what I’m in for, or the culture shock I’m going to have.

Have you ever been to Japan as a tourist? How did you find it? Any advice for me?



10 moments from 2013

Okay, my first ‘real’ post for a very long time. I’ll kick off 2014 with a teeny bit of reflection. All following photographs taken by me on an iphone using instagram so apologies for the quality!

1. Is a selfie at midnight, the start of 2013. I was alone, my other half at the time was working. When I look at this picture now, I don’t see much happiness, drive or personality shining through. Probably due to the fact that I was alone, and lonely in general. At this time of my life I was fighting a war in my head, and I didn’t even realise it was going on, at this time I had settled for misery and mistaken it for my life.


2. Yes, in January 2013 we had a beautiful snow blanket covering Newport and hiding it’s every impurity, at least it was for one day, until the cars and buses deemed it ‘safe’ to travel. This isn’t relevant really, in fact, until my last image you have a whole lot of landscapes to look at.



3. This picture was taken on a seven mile walk, the day before I started my new job. I walked from Newport to Crosskeys along the canal, thinking it was a good idea. The next day, I realised I had made a mistake.



4. This was taken from the train, on the way to Holyhead, just outside of Valley on the North Wales line. Meaningless but fun.




5. This is an image I took in the Summer, in Mumbles, Swansea (one of my favourite places). I was on holiday with my Mum, Dad and Sister. I especially love the couple in the bottom right hand corner.



6. A picture from an otherwise unattractive part of Newport, in a park. I took this one on a walk, one of many health stints that failed miserably.



7. Here is a relatively self explanatory picture of a sunrise. Very pretty. There’s another one in a second… Image


8. I remember this day, what a beautiful thing to see in all the misery. 18th December. This was the day that I decided I was happy.


9. Here’s another sunrise for you, somewhere near Hereford I imagine.


10. This is a picture of me again, taken on New Years Eve, just before midnight. This is me now (dressed as Hit Girl) happy, relatively healthy and enjoying life a lot.


In 2013, I got extra hours at the chain store I worked in in Cardiff and met some ridiculously fantastic people. My best friend went to Japan to start teaching English. I got a new job working on the railway. I went to see Jesus Christ Superstar and met Alex Hanson and Chris Moyles. I booked flights to go to Japan. My Nanny Iris passed away, and on the same day, my 4 & 1/2 year relationship ended. My true friends stepped up to the plate and I realised exactly who I loved and needed and also realised I hadn’t been happy for a long time and that change was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I started spending a lot more time with the people who matter and with someone who is especially lovely who doesn’t really realise it and he makes me feel like a Princess (gaaaaay).

The last two months of this year have been life changing, stressful but wonderful. I hope 2014 doesn’t kick me in tits like 2013 did, but I hope it carries on the way it has ended, happy and smiling for the first time in so long.

Thank you everyone, Happy New Year!